A few months ago TripleJ launched a weekly TV show. Because apparently we can't get enough of the Jays on radio, whether analog or digital, via studio webcam thru iPhone or Mac or PC, standard Js or Unearthed. So now they put gigs on TV - gigs that anyone can watch online anytime, mind you. And why not? It helps fill the Australian content quota on ABC TV. Cheap too. And the punters just love all the music, don't they? Well, not quite all of it.
One night in particular saw an unseemly torrent of pottymouth criticism of the Jays on Facebook. A certain trio of ladies - a trio who had enjoyed extraordinary publicity throughout the nation via press, radio and TV promotion - were due to air on TripleJ TV's second outing. "Who's looking forward to this!" enthused TripleJ's social media arms. "Who's up for some great Aussie music tonight!"
Oops. Oh, dear. The texts and tweets arriving were not exactly full of praise. Decorum prevents me from repeating the word-for-word contents but suffice it to say a whole bunch of Jay listeners weren't nearly as enthusiatic as the programmers about the upcoming telecast. How could this be?
"We love Australian music!"... don't we?
Is it unfair to target the particular artists involved in this case? Or are there lots of bands that TripleJ hypes, who are also objectively, really ordinary. Or even just plain crap?
Let's look at the ladies in question.
Lady 1 got famous thanks to the quality of her songwriter/producer. Indeed, after she ditched him, her music became as thin as her lyrics. Here's a sample of the latter...
"No one wants to be lonely, but what am I to do,
I'm just trying to be honest, I don't want to hurt you too".
"Thinking of him each day, when he is miles away,
You know it won't serve you well, it's better for time to tell".
"But yours is a face my mind won't erase
and I know I can't say goodbye".
Not exactly Emily Dickinson. Indeed almost all of her songs are just cut and paste versions of the "relationship confusion" sentiments expressed with rhyming cliches. And once she started to have a crack at writing music and structuring songs, well, just listen to the output and be underwhelmed. Someone should really have taught her more than four open chords on a guitar. Check out a Youtube clip of a London gig. It is embarassingly bad.
Lady 2 has perhaps the weakest voice of any singer you'll ever hear outside of a kindy carpet singalong... BUT she does have a mum who has been an institution at ABC music radio for decades. Now that would in no way give her a leg-up in the promotions stakes. How dare anyone draw such an inference.
And then we get to lady 3. What can you say about her Like a Version performance and her Diana requiem tune? Inspiring, uplifting?
"Get yourself up, get yourself out of bed, this is a new day today!", she implores us in a breathy croak over a chord structure about as interesting and harmonically rich as the backing track for a breakfast cereal ad.
But put these 3 princesses of pop together in one supergroup and what do get!
"You know you always can rely on me, you can rely on, ly on, you know you can rely on me, when you go I always leave a light on, light on, I leave a light on light on, and you know you always have been right on, right on [etc etc] "
All of it performed over a 1980 Casio shuffle beat and the same four chords in a dirge of mind-numbing blandness.
And then came the TripleJ TV promo...
A whole bunch of listeners gave the ladies a huge thumbs down on the Facebook page. They weren't excited about the upcoming show at all. In fact the big-up of the ladies was the catalyst for an extraordinary expression of disenchantment with TripleJ programming decisions.
Don't these listeners know that all Aussie music played on TripleJ is amazing?
Rip
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